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1. |
Blue
02:02
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2. |
Silicone
02:32
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i found myself
out alone,
embedded in war
against my silicone heart,
betting in lover’s love.
life is short and old,
and far too lonely
to spend it
making up
reasons to sleep alone.
i met her outside of rehab,
addictions on hold.
she melted through my excuses,
i’m derailed by her warmth.
life is short and old,
and far too lonely
to spend it
making up
reasons to sleep alone
and watch her pass you by
knowing that no one else
could break apart
the plastic heart you’ve grown up with.
and i would test my luck just to taste you.
but if you wait for something better you’ll find it.
i don’t know if you would believe me,
but you’re the only one i want so i don’t care.
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3. |
Lover
03:05
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she said, “i’m scared of where
my life is taking me.
i think about death
like a drug i can’t see”
she said, “i’m real but
i feel as fake as can be:
invisible with no voice or belief”
honestly,
this is the worst year
we’ve ever had.
she said, “i hate myself
apart from who i’ve been
when i’m locking you out
and letting him in.”
she said, “you make me feel
like i’m losing my head
and i don’t know if i should start
or just end it.”
honestly,
this is the worst that
we’ve ever been.
she said, “i love you
and i don’t want to leave,
but it’s getting real hard to see us
older and married
and somehow still happy.
we’re not happy.”
honestly,
this is the worst day
i’ve ever had.
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4. |
Meet in the Middle
04:17
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i don’t know what it gets like,
i don’t know where you spend your nights
i could hurt you more, than you’ve been told
but i’ll love you till we’re tired and old.
yeah i’m not looking for a reset
or just something to live through.
the streets are black and blue
just like the eyes,
i can’t keep off of you.
you’ve got darkness,
i’ll wear it all.
i’ve been hardened,
but you’ve cracked my skull.
yeah this is belonging,
where we meet in the middle
i didn’t think you were real,
now i can’t forget how to feel you.
now when you go my head gets stuck
inside a sky of your bad luck.
i don’t want to stop, i want to hear it all.
how you grew up,
how you felt small.
it’s been so long
since someone showed up
to cheer you on
yeah i can tell
by the dust in your lungs.
yeah you’re damaged
but i’m pretty messed up too.
life’s not a waste,
if i waste what’s left of it with you.
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5. |
January
02:02
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I never told you
I never really liked you,
but I thought I could love you more
than you’d need
so I lied
a whole lot longer
than anyone should try,
and I fell up the steps
and made you hide.
Now my life
is something I don’t get.
Maybe you can feel it.
Now my life is something
I don’t recognize,
but it’s something I can’t forget
It doesn’t matter,
I don’t even care
if you never kiss my neck,
if I never smell your hair,
in the morning I’ll forget
what it means for you to be there;
it won’t matter,
I won’t even care
I never told you,
I’ve never loved anyone more.
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6. |
Queen
02:10
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don’t get stuck
in the past.
find your friends,
make it last.
you’ve got no lover,
but girl i’ll be damned
if you’ve got
no love.
make a phone call,
dry your tears,
say, “good evening”
to your fears
you’ll be the queen
of somebody else’s
world someday
send a postcard,
to the past,
when you’re younger,
growing up too fast.
“you’re sad but,
you really can’t say
you’ve got no love.”
it gets better
if you let it,
if you want it,
i know it takes too long
you’ll be queen
of somebody else’s
world one day.
don’t get stuck
in the past.
find your friends,
make it last.
you’ll be the queen
of somebody else’s
world one day
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7. |
||||
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Sleep
Love
I don't mind.
I'm just outside if you need
somebody else
call me.
I'm so tired of being idle,
stopped,
unclear.
I can't believe you've put up with me
for this long
but I'm starting to like myself.
it feels like you like me
Sleep
Girl
I don't know
what I did for you
to let me be here now
Oh
I said I loved you,
you just laughed and said it back.
Why
do I wake up early on a Monday?
It's like I care about myself now
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8. |
Sober 2
01:37
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i don’t know where your head’s at
but i’ve spent nights in my own jaws
trying to push down fear
like the pills
i took when i was younger
but you’re not the same thing.
i can fight like a soldier
when i get lost in the violence
of making myself
breathe in all the smoke
and the scent of a good thing
and you’re one of the best things.
i’ve built years
of drinking
apathetic patience
to my voice.
but now i’m sober
and you’re
spinning around my head,
i think it’s love.
yeah, i know it’s love.
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9. |
Misty Brown
01:24
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your misty brown eyes
like tinted windows,
i only see what you press against the glass.
i wear an old soul,
just want to touch yours.
i understand if you want to close the door.
i can wait to kiss your lips,
i could write a hundred songs
but i’ll still think about it.
write each word at the pace you walk.
when you’re ready or not, i’ll still be next door.
i get stuck on the little things
like your eyelids;
how they shudder and shake
on the edge of you crying.
yeah i get stuck on the little things.
in the silence;
how your plastic heart
was cracked in half by violence.
it’s not fine.
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patrick hardy regina, Saskatchewan
fight your neighbour-core
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